Part 8: Conclusions

Joseph COULD theoretically have been sold into slavery in Egypt at any of our proposed dates. Since slavery is known to have been practiced in Egypt at the time of all of our possible dates.
Israelites COULD theoretically have been slaves in Egypt, as the time period they supposedly were slaves in fits with the known time periods of the practice of slavery.
It is physically impossible for the Israelites to have escaped Egypt at ANY point of a ANY timeline that coincides with the actual known, hard, and indisputable facts of archaeology and history AND to have also conquered and lived in Canaan for ANY portion of the biblically claimed number of years. They could possibly have been slaves in Egypt. They could have possibly even escaped from slavery in Egypt if they had been slaves. BUT, they could not have been slaves and escaped on ANY realistic timeline. AND they could have been slaves in Egypt. You can believe they escaped slavery in Egypt and traveled to Canaan and then conquered and lived there and you can believe that the claimed timeline in the bible is true BUT both CANNOT be true at the same time, AND believing both are true or factual (at the same time) in ANY way, shape, or form would make you a dumbass who can’t count, reason, or use logic.
Using the Bible’s own timeline gives us solid results for which pharaohs were in power at the supposed time of Joseph and also the supposed time of the Exodus. None of the rest of the Bible’s details coincide with the actual facts of reality, through archaeology and history with the events and situations of those respective regnal periods.
There is literally no possible way to line up the Bible’s timeline with the immovable known dates of the establishment of the Kingdom of Israel without requiring Chinese acrobat levels of contortions of time, situation, and story details.
There is literally no possible way to line up the Bible’s claimed duration of years for events and other things AND make these things all fit the timeline.
ALL of the areas in question were under Egyptian control for the entire duration of the possible AND the claimed timelines with the exception of a VERY SMALL 165 year window.
NONE of the biblical claimed ten plagues of Egypt could have possibly happened without the aid of bullshit magic, EXCEPT the red tide/river turning to blood.
The tenth plague of Egypt would have crippled the Egyptian Empire, leaving it wide open for external invasion and conquest. It didn’t happen, ergo, the tenth plague is also bullshit.
It is literally impossible for the biblically stated numbers of Joseph’s family entering Egypt to reside to have produced an offspring population of anywhere near the stated numbers of Israelites fleeing slavery in Egypt 400-430 years later.
A starting “seed” population of more than 17,800 would be required to result in the subsequent Israelite population attempting to flee Egypt. Either the first number or the second number can be correct. NOT both. Yet another biblical bullshit claim.
Ask yourself this question: Would any reasonable human being (an Egyptian citizen in this case) give his Israelite slave neighbor a whole bunch of his gold and jewels for ANY reason, ESPECIALLY knowing that the entire group was trying to leave Egypt and had been petitioning the pharaoh for permission to do so? I don’t think any normal, sane person would let their neighbor borrow ANYTHING under those circumstances. Yet another of the innumerable unbelievable bullshit claims the Bible makes.
The amount of water (and food too) that would be required to feed the roughly 3 million Israelites (and their animals) in the desert was literally outside the scope and capability of ancient people. Humans can carry around 33% of their own body weight for extended periods of time. Average human sizes for the time period are: Male 5’6″, Female 5’0″.
It is literally impossible for the stated number of Israelites to have left Egypt without completely crippling Egypt’s entire economy for decades. Literally. Impossible.
This exodus (no pun intended) would have made Egypt susceptible to conquest from neighboring countries. No such thing ever happened until more than a 1000 years later.
It’s ludicrous to think that anywhere near the claimed number of Israelites could have been part of the Exodus. Logistically, it’s just not possible. Functionally, it’s just not possible, Logically, it’s just not possible, Reasonably, it’s just not possible, Realistically, it’s just not possible. Militarily, it’s just not possible.
Literally NOTHING the Bible claims about the residence of the Israelites in Egypt, the Exodus, and the Conquest of Canaan are possible. Further, NONE of the claims have ANY evidence in the historical or archaeological record. It’s all bullshit. Nothing more. Even the most compelling religious lesson to be learned from this story is: When you go to leave the country you reside in, if they have enslaved you, steal all their valuable shit before you go. That way you can make a golden calf idol to worship in the desert when your religious leader disappears for a few days.